India's Daughter

The most discussed documentary of the year "India's Daughter" is out now. The story is based on Delhi's brutal gang-rape victim Jyoti Singh, her attackers, their families as well as the court and Indian culture. Ironic is that currently this documentary is available in most of the countries while it is banned in India.

Jyoti Singh was a medical student who was coming from a low income family. Although traditionally raised, she and her parents were modern thinking, While other family members were criticizing Jyoti's parents for celebrating her birth in a way a boy should be celebrated and selling their properties for a girls education, they did not stop and eventually raised a person who believed who believed in herself. Jyoti's dream was to build medical facility in her village and to be a doctor. Even though she was not able to reach her goal, her tragic death created wave of actions: protests, movements and debates in government.

Still, there are many people for who it's hard to accept the fact that this world needs a change and the fall of patriarchy. That's why still many people blame Jyoti for her death by stating that she was not supposed to be outside when it's dark, that she was not supposed to fight back if she wanted to stay alive, that it was her punishment for not being a decent girl. Others say that now it's going to be even worse, so far girls were raped and let go because they wouldn't dare to say anything. "Now they will raped and killed", says assaulter.

Murderer defending lawyer ML Sharma stated that "our culture is the best culture and there is no place for a women." while his colleague AP Singh in front of national television said that "If my daughter or sister engaged in pre-marital activities and disgraced herself to lose face and character by doing such things, I would most certainly take this sort of sister or daughter to my farmhouse, and in front of my entire family, I would put petrol on her and set her alight." 

To get to know more about the story from different point of views, IHBG team highly recommends to watch the full documentary

Freedom at Midnight, an Indian Yearning

The peaceful, silent street on a day that I took a walk alone late at night in Indiranagar, Bangalore.

“Girls are supposed to be seen, not heard” – I grew up listening my matron in the liberal boarding school I attended repeat this old adage over and over again back in 1994. Girls, she believed, were always to be seriously disciplined, discouraged from speaking up and punished often if they asked questions. One of the many rules the school enforced, I remember, was that we weren’t supposed to roam around campus at night on our own. Anywhere girl students went, an escort — either a staff member or a house warden — would be beside them so that they didn’t “misbehave”.

For several years, throughout high school and university, I found that this strange rule was observed in almost every private hostel for girls or young women. Our college hostel warden urged us to return to the premises by 6 pm. If we returned any later, we would have to pay a fine. At home, my parents would ask us to call if we were going out with friends in the evening. The night, as so many of us knew it, was out of reach. It was a time of day that was a mystery, filled with questions. Every now and then we would hear a story about women who had chains snatched, or were groped or molested on the road. Yet, to many of us, the night held promise of solitude, romance, parties, and long hours spent in reckless abandon.

To me, the darkness evokes mixed emotions. It brings back memories of the night of my first kiss with my childhood sweetheart, when we stood under the lamppost clinging on to each other, our hearts beating wildly against our chests. But it also brings back the intense fear I felt when I was first attacked on my way home in the evening; flashes of light as I was being dragged along the corners of the road by thieves on a motorcycle, thrown in front of a car while they wrenched my belongings away from me. I came home that night, my head bleeding, bruised all over my body. The policeman asked me two days later when I went to complain – “What were you doing out at night alone? Girls shouldn’t be walking alone at night.”

On December 2012, when a young physiotherapy student was brutally gang-raped on a moving bus, there were several voices in the Indian public arena openly asking whether she invited the assault by breaking the rule. Why did she step out at night?  Dr Asha Mirge, a member of the Maharashtra Women’s Commission, asked more than a year after the incident. Mirge famously commented on the Delhi gang rape and the Shakti Mills gang rapes, asking, “Why Nirbhaya, the victim in the infamous Delhi gang rape case in December 2012 should go to movie for a late night show (11 PM), and similarly the photo-journalist in Mumbai go to an isolated place of Shakti Mills at 6 PM?"

Now, after so many years, this sparked a revolution on the ground. It was a silent revolution, not one that was violent and filled with rage. Instead, women across the city were coming together to claim all of the day. They were stepping out to parks, going on picnics, enjoying exploring the city and travelling alone at night. Even better, they were challenging their own stereotypes about men and darkness. The campaign which gently ushered them to do this was called #WhyLoiter, a simple movement started by two young men asking women across India to post a photo of themselves loitering the streets, venturing out any time of the day and enjoying their public spaces. In just a few weeks, nearly two million women responded with photos of them taking on their freedoms; exploring dark alleyways, sleeping in the parks, eating chaat in the streets and climbing mountaintops. A rule had silently been broken.

Walking out alone at night in Bangalore

That night, I stepped out and decided I’d go for a walk alone. It was 11.45 pm and the streets were empty. Even the main road, which was usually lined with groups of twenty-somethings smoking or enjoying a laugh outside a pub, was quiet and dark. At first, I was cautious, ensuring that I stayed on the side of the street lamp all the time. Then, I didn’t care. It took me some time to breathe easy but I did it. It’s a feeling I cannot explain; that sense of lightness I felt when I didn’t turn around every second to look out for strangers, or speeding motorcyclists, or sounds. I just walked, strolling along at the usual pace that helped me relax. Fear, I realized, is often such a heavy and comforting feeling that it wraps women in a tight embrace they cannot break free from. Fear is comforting because it makes you take fewer chances; it feeds on your insecurities to keep you on the straight and narrow road. But freedom is silent, waiting for you to step outside the shadows of doubt.

#© Meera Vijayann

Hysteria FemCon 2015

2015 is already starting with loud events towards women empowerment and gender equality. "Hysteria" is coming soon and will take place in India, Kolkata from 10th to 12th of January. It is creation by Eye Art Collective; group of young artists, enthusiasts and activists who combine their interests and skills to create world a better place.
Before the event we contacted people who stand behind it and they were happy to answer our questions and share their good practices despite their busy schedules. In this article we will get to know what is Eye Art Collective and their creation "Hysteria", what are their main goals and difficulties to create such an event.

Manisha Ganguly (Co-Founder/Editor of Eye Art Collective) :
"We at Eye are an independent art collective that is anarcha-feminist, anti-racist and queer-positive. Our main tool is artivism, using art as a form of activism, to create awareness about socio-politico-cultural issues in the all-pervasive, bold way that only art can, transcending language barriers. Feminism as an ever-changing ideology-movement is one that is viewed with much trepidation, fear and suspicion by the layperson. Feminists are often typified as “ugly” and or “man-haters” (as feminists are mostly female, you follow-great sarcasm at play here,folks-), among other unflattering adjectives; the Feminist vision is often obscured by radicals within the Feminist fold who envision a matriarchy as their final goal and take away from the real problems on the ground – patriarchal oppression, gender violence and deep-rooted sexism that pervades every pore of the skin of society.
Hysteria, aims to address all of these issues and more with the use of varied mediums to understand the prevailing pre-conceived notions, right them and help all participating persons to be more gender-tolerant individuals. With the help of diverse mediums from good old fashioned discussions to air everyone’s views, to screening topical films to workshops on self defence to music, theatre and slam poetry, we wish to use all available means to reach our end of gender sensitivization and creating general awareness.
Obstacles will crop up, and always will, especially when an event of such a singularity is on the cards. From being misunderstood as to our objective (anarchism is not taken lightly by institutions or blindly collectivist individuals who are either a>not enlightened or b>refuse to be enlightened as to what it really entails) to having the usual event hiccups in terms of logistics, finance and manpower, we have persevered and how.
Hysteria is a-go from the 10th to the 12th of January at Max Mueller Bhavan, Kolkata. We hope our initiative, albeit a drop in the ocean, makes a difference in the way we view the world. For the better."

More info:
http://www.aneyezine.com/hysteria/
https://www.facebook.com/events/324680227736726
If you are around the area you are very welcome and we highly recommend you to join Hysteria FemCon 2015!

Stories From India - Public Transport #3

In most of the parts in the world public transport is something normal, we even don't pay attention to it, we continue to plan our day, red a book, call someone, spend time on social media or whatsoever. Simple, insignificant part of our day. Not for a woman in India. Especially a foreign girl.

Auto Rickshaw/ Tuk-tuk the adventure starts from the moment you have to get one. You must find one, then to explain where you want to go (and I will not even talk about how drivers try to take advantage of foreigners). When it's done, you bargain for the price and go. In big cities it's not a problem and you can easily get a ride which will be comfortable. In rural areas the story is different. Firstly, Auto won't go until it's full (in rush hours) and by full I mean more than 10 people. Squeezed together with men, women, old and young. You are so close to other people that you can feel their heartbeat. Unfortunately it's a great place for men to take an advantage of women. You are simply so close to each other that you really don't understand if there is any touching happening or I am overreacting because of my stereotypes. Many times I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Either you get out, lose time or stress out and keep going!

Metro system is also not the same as we are used to. At least what I experienced in New Delhi was that last wagons are made just for women. At first it's hard to believe that such a thing rally exists. If men get caught in this area, then they get fined. Women are allowed to go in the rest of the wagons. The whole metro system is developed quite well and with unnecessary high security system. For me metro felt as the safest public transportation almost the same as at home. Nobody stares, different nations and people busy with themselves. Sad but it feels like home and comfort zone. But also it's different India. Modernized and westernised which makes you forget about the rest of the country. It's truly like parallel reality. Despite that there are still rape cases which I wouldn't expect if I didn't read it on news.



Buses used to freak me out the most. Firstly, there in unpredictable system from place to place. Here you have to buy ticket in bus, there you have to buy it at counter to get seat. Constant confusion. But as a foreigner you might always get seat because even if you try to explain that it's OK for you to stand, they just push you into the seat and now you have to be their friend. Secondly, in many buses works gender division. Front part usually is for women and back part for men. Another shocking thing is that in some states the bus tickets are cheaper for women. At first it seems as advantage but when you go deeper why is it so it's only an assault: "women are weak, women need support because they can't be on their own, women need help", it's like a charity from the "generous". Disgusting!
And those ayes that look at you constantly...you go by bus 4 hours and all 4 hours your every single move will be noticed. I did my mistake by staring back with an intention that they will get shameful and blench. I wanted to give an impression that I am not scared or less powerful..well, it does not work like that It only gave wrong vibes and expectations which I definitely didn't want to give. I understood too late that the aye contact in this culture has different meaning.
But when the bus is full, it is full. You might be hanging out from the doors and the only thing that matters is that you are somewhere inside.



Trains are my favourite type of transport! I never took first class because I wanted to feel the real India. During the travel I had unexpected period trouble when I started my fifty-five hour journey from Kerala to New Delhi. There was no possibility to buy any hygienic products. I had to use my own clothes because I simply didn't have a different option. And I am not the only woman who takes this long route. It's almost violent how these needs are denied. Not even a proper or separate toilet or bathroom where to refresh. Frustration.
Women never travel alone these long routes (lower class trains). Either there are group of women or some male companions. It's simply too dangerous to be alone in second class train. Majority passengers are shameless men who stare, take pictures, talk about a woman loudly and even catcall. And for that you don't need to be a foreigner. During the night it is especially scary because you can't really see the faces and how would that help if you have nowhere to run? We are always alarmed, it's the first rule: to be on track of what is happening around you.
So many times it simply pisses you off because you are less safe because of your gender! And then you get violent thoughts even if you wouldn't hurt a fly, you want to throw their phones away and stab them in the ayes just because all this insecurity and stress level makes you crazy.
My train travels were with my friend and/or Indian colleague. At all times I got instructions on what to say, what not to say, on who I should look and on who I shouldn't, with who I should talk and with who I shouldn't. I was thought to be suspicious to everyone. A 100% Indian person told me to never trust an Indian.

To be honest I broke my "woman rules" many times and those were the best experiences of my life. Full of adrenaline because I was aware of possible outcome...but my observation was that it's not a dangerous thing to break the rules. Women are told to be quiet, say yes, follow the men and never protest, that she is weak and born to obey but when a woman is actually independent and stands for herself, then men get confused, almost scared. If I was confident to talk, express my thoughts, say no and stand for myself, then they don't feel comfortable in front of me any more. It feels like the model of how woman should act is only a strategy on how to rule the society not because culture made it so. Women oppression is not natural as some sources might affirm.
In my opinion women empowerment must be in first step towards gender equality. It's a beautiful thing to be a woman, not a stamp of weakness and restrictions. We have to understand it and then stand for it. Men will do whatever it takes to stop this progress because it creates the feeling of losing power. And they might call you in the worst names, try to label you and impress their "standards" of how woman should behave. Don't give up, we know the truth!

Stories From India: Introduction 1

Dear everyone,

This is going to be a brand new article series from a personal experience by Ilze from IHBG team who spent 6 months in different parts of India to do voluntary work! It will be an amazing adventure and possibility to sneak into the reality of an Indian society*. To see a different perspectives what it means to be a woman in more global picture and compare it with what we know and share our opinions in comments below!

In these stories we are going to live through personal and global stereotype breaking points together, learning lessons and maybe changing our opinions on topic of sexuality and gender equality together. Funny moments and the beauty of cultural shocks that entangles with seriousness and harsh reality. This is going to be a reflection of a crazy, life changing adventure and here you can become part of it!

*All of the article are subjective and it does not cover 100% the situation Indian society. These stories are coming from a rural area, the reality of a village person seen by European ayes and filtered with mindfulness and ♥ of BEING A GIRL


STAY TUNED! First story coming on Sunday,  26/10/2014

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Born Into Brothels (2004)

#InspirationalMovie #BornIntoBrothels

This week (and apologizing for not being there for you last Friday) we suggest a feature-lenght Oscar-winning documentary Born Into Brothels: Calcutta's Red Light Kids (2004, Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman). The outline is rather easy to understand:

"Briski, a documentary photographer, went to Calcutta to photograph prostitutes. While there, she befriended their children and offered to teach the children photography to reciprocate being allowed to photograph their mothers. The children were given cameras so they could learn photography and possibly improve their lives. Much of their work was used in the film, and the filmmakers recorded the classes as well as daily life in the red light district. The children's work was exhibited, and one boy was even sent to a photography conference in Amsterdam. Briski also recorded her efforts to place the children in boarding schools." (Wiki says)

Nevertheless, the movie find its way into many of the debates that the SRHR/development communities usually have. What to do about the human miseries? How can one as an individual make a significant change? Can you, actually? What are the best interventions? Short-term? Long-term? Creative? Bringing discipline? How do you overcome bureaucratic obstacles? How do you change a culture opposed to (our, Occidental) notion of human wellbeing? What are the primary needs?
And all of that without even entering in the debate surrounding commercial sex work.

So enjoy thinking. Answering is optional.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: the Deepa Mehta elements trilogy

#InspirationalMovie

Director Deepa Mehta is one of our hero(ine)s. And her elements trilogy covers many of the themes we are deeply interested in. The XX century and how modernization has changed the ways we look at love, marriage, and tradition. The emancipation of women, and clashes with people who didn't think it was a good idea. The pain and exclusion, and also deep satisfaction that following your heart may bring...

Water (2005) takes us to the India of 1930's and deep into the restrictions that patriarchy imposes on women, widows in this case. The conundrum of arranged (child) marriage, women becoming possessions of their husbands, and then completely marginalized in case of the death of the husband... changed by the innocence of a child that hasn't assumed the tradition yet.

Earth (1998) takes us to the partition of India (1940's), a moment of religious and political violence where love finds it hard to survive in it's clashes with political and traditional loyalties.

Fire (1996), set later on in the XX century, reminds that marriage can still be arranged and that forms of acceptable love are still dictated by the tradition and the law, including some of them and excluding other ones. 

India: Protests 2.0, pt. II

"A female protester shouts as she is hit with an Indian police water cannon during a violent demonstration near the India Gate against a gang rape and brutal beating of a 23-year-old student on a bus last week, in New Delhi, on December 23, 2012. The attack last Sunday sparked days of protests across the country. (AP Photo/Kevin Frayer)"

Here we go with the second part of Saransh's article: 

"As it has been noticed, information diffusion is no longer a centralized process. Dispersal of information through social media attained unprecedented heights this time. Within minutes of an event taking place, the word would spread all over the country. Such hyper connectivity even though talked about for a while now could be seen real time. Once out there, information spread like wildfire and the task of information dissemination went from one to many. Social media campaigns acted as aggregators of information and people were able to garner huge support in holding protest marches in their own regions leveraging on these platforms
What was heartening to see was that it wasn’t just the women groups protesting for their right to safety but men (the average Joe) in equal numbers fighting for a secured life for their counterparts, the opposite sex. This may be said to indicate a gradual change in the mindset of our young male population particularly those from the urban class.

Aftermath. The rapes haven’t stopped in the backdrop of active debates, discussions and protests going on. The question still lingers. What should be done to the culprits? What should be done to ensure the safety of women who constitute half the population of our country? A few still throng places like Jantar Mantar to raise a voice and keep the momentum built up, but what now?

With so much of independent talk and views, what has become difficult to comprehend is the general stance of the people. It is like the last revolution that India had with its "Anti corruption" campaign. The idea, though extremely noble still has its implementation strategy not yet clearly laid out.

The problem with such scattered revolts is that individual protestors tend to forget who they are fighting against and who exactly is the enemy? Is it that constable who is firing those water cannons at the protestors simply because he had been ordered to or else is it that local mundu (delivery boy) who whistles at every passing girl because he enjoys it? Is it the minister who has 4 cases of rape against him or is it the parents who instill in their children the idea of male superiority right from their childhood?

The question that India needs to ask itself is, “who is the enemy? Why no one cares when local instances of violence take place against a woman in private or public spaces?”

What we as Indians need to introspect about is that to what extent are we willing to intervene to help curb this menace and provide a safe place for ourselves and others. A simple example is that the boy and girl had been dumped and were lying; bleeding profusely on the road after the horrendous incident that took place in December and no one came to their help for nearly 20 minutes. Passerby’s walked, drove past maybe muttering to themselves how miserable the situation of the country is, with not one of them even covering the bare victims with a cloth till the police arrived.  Is this how a country with a great future potential behave? How are we supposed to develop socially and economically if the last few traces of humanity are also disappearing at such a rapid pace? Is this truly our path to greatness and glory or are we just becoming a chump of goons running after our 8% growth rate and not giving a hoot about anything else?

A drastic change is required in the social fabric of our nation as well. People need to change, those 45 year old aunties calling their  neighbor’s daughter a slut because of her "revealing clothes" needs to change. The perception towards a girl needs to take cognizance of her ascribed traits rather than her sex? The young boy who is being scorned at by his father for crying and acting like a girl needs to change. Change begins at home. At this moment this statement cannot hold truer.

However we all know that gender sensitivity is not an add on that can be bolted on overnight. It’s a generational change that would complete not over one but several generations. What do we do in the interim transitional period? Or even more pertinent would be the question, "With all that anger and frustration unleashed during the last month, were you able to do something to improve the situation?" If not, then how are we in a better position?

I am sure that we might not have the answers but at least we are now much more aware of the right questions."

India: Protests 2.0, pt. I

We have been following news from India and have asked Saransh to give an insider's view on what has been happening so far and what is there to be done to stop the violence against women.

In case you have been in cryogenic state since mid-december, here are some news - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4 - and pictures you might want to go through before you go on reading.

"Indian women hold placards outside the residence of Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit during a protest over the gang rape of a woman in New Delhi, on December 19, 2012. The outpouring of anger is unusual in a country where attacks against women are often ignored and rarely prosecuted." (AP Photo/Manish Swarup)

"A public protest in India is usually a hidden propaganda fueled by a few to invoke a false sense of righteousness and purpose in the uneducated section of the society. It could typically be defined as a group of people fighting for a cause using a pre-defined method of demonstration within a defined timeline with orders being dispersed from a common high ranking source. In such cases diffusion involves targeting the needs of the source and coming up with a common consensus or compromise.

Over the past few years citizen awakening in India has been on a slow boil primarily in the issues that concern the common man in their day to day life. But due of the December incident, the scales tipped over. Thousands of people poured out onto the streets not because of a particular incentive that they cared for but out of anguish that questioned why their women were not safe in their own country? Why their women could not enjoy the constitutional right to a safe living? There were no leaders to take orders from this time and a surprising innate sense of cohesiveness between people protesting, with nothing in common but a genuine concern for women was present. These protests or dare I say uprising over the last one month has actually been a movement of the well heeled, the newly sensitized, and the young educated blood of the country who finally realized that change is up to them and that they need to shout and scream loud enough to be heard by our "highly efficient" political leaders. They need to push hard and get the existing legal, political and judicial systems moving.

Day by day people kept pouring in, television channels broadcasted it live and the nation remained glued to the TV to stay informed about the happenings. However as hours passed, angers arose and impatience began to stir up.  Adding fuel to the scenario were the absolutely irresponsible atrocious statements from some of our leaders.  From a peaceful gathering, the mutated into an angry mob of people charging towards the President’s house with no one in command, the protestors were diverse with no common traits which could be used to subdue them leaving the police unsure of their next step. With emotions bursting out of these young guns they charged at the police, screaming, protesting and braving the water cannons in cold wintery mornings. It was no longer about right or wrong, no longer about the outcome; it was simply the anger of the common people that spewed out. It wasn’t for a political propaganda; it was a desperate call for the basic safety of women residing in their own nation.

Its situations like these that demand true leadership, and this is exactly where the Indian government faltered.  Not used to such altruistic passion, with no clear strategy in mind, the police was commanded to respond in the manner it usually would, to maybe an angry fanatical mob. No political leader came out to address this thronging mass of people gathered in the heart of Delhi. No one came out; they just waited for the storm to pass.

Our home minister even drew a parallel between the Maoists and the citizens gathered at India Gate in Delhi to explain the reason for silence by the government during the protests. What you infer from this is the sheer inexperience/ immaturity of not being able to differentiate cases like this compared to any other political rally or terrorist group..."

(The article is rather lengthy, so we have chosen suspense over long reading and invite you to come over tomorrow to see the second part.)

WSYA Power 2 Women: GotStared.at / Saransh

As you should know by now, I ♥ Being a Girl received one of the 2012 World Summit Youth Awards. The award showcases the best ICT solutions made by young people that moves us closer to achieving the MDGs. Ours is - obviously - in the category Power to Women.

As we are far from being the only ones doing things around gender via the internets and such, here you have some more:   

Saransh Dua, @SaranshDua and GotStared.At

I enjoy spending time with family and friends, reading, and traveling.

GotStared.At has grown a lot as a campaign in terms of the core idea behind the movement. Now it is a movement that aims to create a counter culture amongst the people in our society where respecting the other gender would be considered cool.

Over history it has been realized that certain trends tend to catch the fancy of the common man. AIDS awareness, education for the poor, green energies, etc. are examples of causes which, obviously being quite relevant, managed to gain wide spread public support in India when compared to many other pertinent issues as well. We aim to create something similar with the idea of gender as the central theme.

For too long the idea of gender debates, discussions have been a talk amongst the elitist in India. This needs to be converted into a discussion amongst the masses and we aim to do just that. We are all about simplification of complex issues which the public tend to shy away from discussing simply because of the jargon used in the messages sent to the public or the fact that in the age of twitter and face book people tend to be drawn more towards graphic driven content. We create posters and other visualizations portraying complex issues in the common mans parlance. The result of this is that rather than people tuning into what maybe a few experts have to say, to tune into what their community has to say and engage with them on the online platforms provided by us.

 

The idea behind #itsnotherfault came out at a time when most of the public in India was extremely hassled over the widespread assumptions that the girls who were getting molested on the street of India were the ones who were asking for it. This meant that the short clothes and bar hopping lifestyles were causing a rise in the “testosterone” levels of the Indian male and the poor guys had no option but to sexually harass the women as she was apparently “asking for it”.

So the site GotStared.At was initially developed by Dhruv as a place to come in and post what they were wearing while they were harassed. This led to a tremendous amount of virality as it was tackling a very pertinent issue of victim bashing as described above.
People from all over the world started posting pictures of the clothes that they were wearing when harassed and the flow of entries still hasn’t stopped as everyday there is more proof of the fact that no matter where you are, the only thing that will cause the harassment is the perpetrator and his intentions and nothing else.

The world would be a better place if everybody would:
  - See something new every week.
  - Listen to The Beatles, Pink Floyd and the list goes on...
  - Read The Story of My Experiments with Truth, Poor Economics, Think, The Fortune at the Bottom of the Pyramid.
  - Try being genuine and humane.

Before I'm 80, I'd like to... travel the world.