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women and wanderlust

In northern hemisphere summer has come. During this season many people are taking the vacations and heading off the road. Either it's to take "All Inclusive" and relax at five star hotel or to hitchhike and Couchsurf it will be an adventure!
There are many ways of how to travel and one of them is solo traveling. Many people choose this way to challenge themselves and explore unknown and why not to, we know so little about ourselves!
Although in recent years the number of women solo travelers have increased it is still considered to be more difficult and dangerous for female than male wanderers. It's a pity how fears of unknown can stop us from so many life changing experiences but does the fear always tell us the truth?
Unfortunately the women who can enjoy traveling and wandering are not the majority of women. The world is rich in cultural diversity that we want to see and learn about but sadly cultures have created conditions that restrict women from traveling. It can be based on economical point of view or to patriarchal "ethics". Some women can feel relieved and be thankful for the ability to travel while other can't but at the same time not really. The same conditions will also apply to any other person who wants to enter this kind of culture. For example, in Saudi Arabia it's made almost impossible for young and unmarried women to enter the country without a male assistance. The government simply won't issue the visa. Similar situation is in UAE and Qatar if you are planning a longer stay. In Lebanon female travelers can apply for the visa on arrival if they can prove that they formerly have not taken job as an artists. Ridiculous truth and there are many more countries that are very skeptical to issue visas for young women, especially the ones who travel alone.
Women face many gender-based restrictions during their life-time but the fact that you can not exit or enter a country hits very hard. It's a horrible feeling and it feels very wrong.
Not so long time ago we could never imagine a women traveling alone. Now there are many woman out there that are having nomad life style and it's beautiful that they can fulfill their dream. We have to keep traveling and fight to open borders and give this chance to evryone. It's still not 100% safe to travel as a female but it also applies for men. While female are facing to be beaten up in the same situation a male is in a danger to be killed. While majority of woman are risking to get raped only few men are.  It's always a risk and it's a choice. Not everyone is made to sing and not everyone is made to travel but the same as singing traveling should be gender neutral.

 TINY TIPS TO TRAVEL SAFE

Overly Helpful Stranger Danger
You have to trust yourself to be able to learn how to trust others. First and foremost important rule is to follow your inner feeling. It works! If you have even the tiniest suspicion do not accept the help from a stranger and do not feel guilty about saying no. By connecting to strangers you will learn how many amazing, kind and openhearted people are in the world!
Periods
If you are healthy and not pregnant you will get them anyway  so why not on the way? If you are usually suffering from very uncomfortable moments during the menstruation maybe it's time to change the environment, it can help! You can still use your favorite hygienic products or to try out menstrual cup which is reusable and more environment friendly. Just one golden rule - hygiene is the priority. In case you do not have the access to clean water intim area wipes can be a solution
Rape Danger
When you will start to travel you will realize that not every person wants to rape you. Yes, there are dangerous people and dangerous situations. Yes, we need to be concerned and aware but the media always is giving us the negative image of everything and it sticks to our minds. In fact, there are much more amazing people who want to help you than the ones who wants to harm and benefit from you.
Eyes Open
Always be in charge of your own stuff. Pack light so you don't need assistance to put on or carry your bags. Don't forget to look around you to see what is happening. Either you are in a big city, rural village or forest make sure that you have the control over the situation. When you are in a public transport try to memorize people around you and see if there is someone who seems interested in you. It can be great start of friendship or a way to escape. Never brag around about traveling alone and don't be afraid to tell that your friend is somewhere near even if it is not. Also, do a regular check-ups with family or friends so they know how are you , where are you and that they need to react if you are not giving any news.
Money and Documents
Don't keep your money in one place but spread it along your stuff. Put them at the least money-keeping places but don't forget where you put them. Have an emergency money. Always have copies of your passport and other travel documents. Hard copies, saved in memory stick and some internet storage you can access from any computer. Other than that make sure that your documents won't get wet either it rains or your bag falls into the water. 
Hitchhiking
If your friends and family are trying to scare you with horrible hitchhiker stories take them as lessons and thank them for caring but don't let it scare you off. In fact, to be a woman hitchhiker sometimes it is easier than to be a man. Also drivers are people that can be scared of strangers and woman might seem less harmful, just like female drivers might seem. It's sexist and it's a reality that female can get help much easier than male.

Stories From India - Public Transport #3

In most of the parts in the world public transport is something normal, we even don't pay attention to it, we continue to plan our day, red a book, call someone, spend time on social media or whatsoever. Simple, insignificant part of our day. Not for a woman in India. Especially a foreign girl.

Auto Rickshaw/ Tuk-tuk the adventure starts from the moment you have to get one. You must find one, then to explain where you want to go (and I will not even talk about how drivers try to take advantage of foreigners). When it's done, you bargain for the price and go. In big cities it's not a problem and you can easily get a ride which will be comfortable. In rural areas the story is different. Firstly, Auto won't go until it's full (in rush hours) and by full I mean more than 10 people. Squeezed together with men, women, old and young. You are so close to other people that you can feel their heartbeat. Unfortunately it's a great place for men to take an advantage of women. You are simply so close to each other that you really don't understand if there is any touching happening or I am overreacting because of my stereotypes. Many times I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Either you get out, lose time or stress out and keep going!

Metro system is also not the same as we are used to. At least what I experienced in New Delhi was that last wagons are made just for women. At first it's hard to believe that such a thing rally exists. If men get caught in this area, then they get fined. Women are allowed to go in the rest of the wagons. The whole metro system is developed quite well and with unnecessary high security system. For me metro felt as the safest public transportation almost the same as at home. Nobody stares, different nations and people busy with themselves. Sad but it feels like home and comfort zone. But also it's different India. Modernized and westernised which makes you forget about the rest of the country. It's truly like parallel reality. Despite that there are still rape cases which I wouldn't expect if I didn't read it on news.



Buses used to freak me out the most. Firstly, there in unpredictable system from place to place. Here you have to buy ticket in bus, there you have to buy it at counter to get seat. Constant confusion. But as a foreigner you might always get seat because even if you try to explain that it's OK for you to stand, they just push you into the seat and now you have to be their friend. Secondly, in many buses works gender division. Front part usually is for women and back part for men. Another shocking thing is that in some states the bus tickets are cheaper for women. At first it seems as advantage but when you go deeper why is it so it's only an assault: "women are weak, women need support because they can't be on their own, women need help", it's like a charity from the "generous". Disgusting!
And those ayes that look at you constantly...you go by bus 4 hours and all 4 hours your every single move will be noticed. I did my mistake by staring back with an intention that they will get shameful and blench. I wanted to give an impression that I am not scared or less powerful..well, it does not work like that It only gave wrong vibes and expectations which I definitely didn't want to give. I understood too late that the aye contact in this culture has different meaning.
But when the bus is full, it is full. You might be hanging out from the doors and the only thing that matters is that you are somewhere inside.



Trains are my favourite type of transport! I never took first class because I wanted to feel the real India. During the travel I had unexpected period trouble when I started my fifty-five hour journey from Kerala to New Delhi. There was no possibility to buy any hygienic products. I had to use my own clothes because I simply didn't have a different option. And I am not the only woman who takes this long route. It's almost violent how these needs are denied. Not even a proper or separate toilet or bathroom where to refresh. Frustration.
Women never travel alone these long routes (lower class trains). Either there are group of women or some male companions. It's simply too dangerous to be alone in second class train. Majority passengers are shameless men who stare, take pictures, talk about a woman loudly and even catcall. And for that you don't need to be a foreigner. During the night it is especially scary because you can't really see the faces and how would that help if you have nowhere to run? We are always alarmed, it's the first rule: to be on track of what is happening around you.
So many times it simply pisses you off because you are less safe because of your gender! And then you get violent thoughts even if you wouldn't hurt a fly, you want to throw their phones away and stab them in the ayes just because all this insecurity and stress level makes you crazy.
My train travels were with my friend and/or Indian colleague. At all times I got instructions on what to say, what not to say, on who I should look and on who I shouldn't, with who I should talk and with who I shouldn't. I was thought to be suspicious to everyone. A 100% Indian person told me to never trust an Indian.

To be honest I broke my "woman rules" many times and those were the best experiences of my life. Full of adrenaline because I was aware of possible outcome...but my observation was that it's not a dangerous thing to break the rules. Women are told to be quiet, say yes, follow the men and never protest, that she is weak and born to obey but when a woman is actually independent and stands for herself, then men get confused, almost scared. If I was confident to talk, express my thoughts, say no and stand for myself, then they don't feel comfortable in front of me any more. It feels like the model of how woman should act is only a strategy on how to rule the society not because culture made it so. Women oppression is not natural as some sources might affirm.
In my opinion women empowerment must be in first step towards gender equality. It's a beautiful thing to be a woman, not a stamp of weakness and restrictions. We have to understand it and then stand for it. Men will do whatever it takes to stop this progress because it creates the feeling of losing power. And they might call you in the worst names, try to label you and impress their "standards" of how woman should behave. Don't give up, we know the truth!