Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Philomena (2013)

#inspirationalmovies

Continuing with my special mini-cycle dedicated to Catholicism and women, today's movie is basically a (polished up) sequel of The Magdalene Sisters. 

Philomena (2013, Stephen Frears) is based on a true story that nevertheless feels somewhat unbelievable. Well, there's reality for you. If after The Magdalene Sisters you asked yourself about the possible futures of the girls who got away from the religious institutions controlling them, here you have the story of Philomena Lee.

There's difference and nuance, though. In the eyes of the religious establishment Philomena had comitted a sin. She had sex before marriage (oh!) with someone she (apparently) barely knew (gasp!) and she liked it! Mind you, this is a very important difference between the discourse that The Magdelene Sisters present and Philomena's story. As Rose in last week's movie (in contrast of other women in that film), Philomena did actually transgress the social norms and was very unlucky to become pregnant as a consequence. And her child was taken away from her.

This is the double sword of the story. On one hand, there's actual pleasure involved. She enjoyed being with that boy. On the other hand, this very fact makes her even more vulnerable to all the injustice done to her afterwards. If your religion (and people in position to punish you) maintain that you have to repent and suffer for your sins, and you know very well that you have transgressed, the likelihood of rebellion seems to be lower.

Yet this is only a part of the story. The second drama revels when Philomena - already older and after a marriage and other children - gets help of a journalist in trying to find her son. Apart from a pretty unbelievable turn of events... Ah, go, see it! ... you get the amazing dame Judi Dench playing someone torn apart by her trauma of loss of a child and faith that's represented by the same people who treated her so badly.

An additional feature that makes the movie a treat is the clash of worlds that her interactions with the world class journalist embarked upon a human interest story lead to. These ar class difference and not gender driven, and challenge the airbrushed image of drama-worthy and interesting people. Good for you, Philomena!

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: The Magdalene Sisters (2002)

#inspirationalmovies

There is no particular reason why I'm offering a mini-cycle on women and catholicism. That's how they've constellated in my to-publish list. No excuses.

The Magdalene Sisters (2002, Peter Mullan) unearths the horrifying tale of Irish Magdalene laundries well into XX century. This is one of those religion-tries-to-deal-with-human-sexuality tales that makes your hair stand up.

Want a recipe for complete disaster of human wellbeing? Organize a society where a group devoted to the belief that human sexuality is impure and sinful (and legitimized only by procreation inside the wedlock) has a lot of power. Then - making a reference to an old book of tribal myths from 2000 years ago - decide that only one half of each heterosexual couple is to bear the burden of stigma attached to "improper" sexual behaviour: the woman. Sum to that a parallel belief that sins can be paid of by hard work and being miserable. And then a sinister idea that there actually might be a profit to be made of the hard work of the sinners confined to closed spaces and completely controlled by (people pretending to be) religious fanatics.

That's the ugly story of the Magdalene laundries in a nutshell: "fallen" women disowned by their families and exploited by catholic orders... Watch the movie, do an advanced google search, read some books and/or articles on this very disgraceful page of catholic church! At least you'll know the dark side of the all-the-charity-work-the-religion-has-been-doing-for-women discourse.

The impact that the trauma had on the lives of those that managed to survive that living hell? I'll tell you next week which movie to watch for that bit of information... But you can start by reading this.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: The Snapper (1993)

#inspirationalmovies 

This one has lots of early 1990's written all over. Unless you are really allergic to that aesthetics, you're in for a curious one. The basic plot of The Snapper (1993, Stephen Frears) goes as follows: in a working-class Irish neighborhood, the 20-something Sharon has got herself pregnant (sic!) without being in a relationship, and she decides to give birth while refusing to disclose who the father is.

What follows is a pregnancy movie with a high dosage of slut shaming by the community, Guiness-drinking while pregnant and no conversation what-so-ever about the fact that all of this unplanned mess could've been prevented with some basic latex accessories...

Nevertheless, what makes The Snapper worthwhile is the portrayal of the neighborhood and family dynamics, how those who love you accept you and your life despite not being 100% in favor of your choices (and your accidents) while, how you should do the obvious by loving and protecting your loved ones, and how haters do not matter...
And stay alert for the stigma still pushed onto pregnancies with nobody male responsible for them, ignoring the idea that you can have children on your own. Be it a premeditated decision, or something that just happened, there are authentic and valid choices taking place.

This will do the cheering up if you are feeling somewhat depressed after having seen the other drinking-while-pregnant movie, 17 Filles (2011).

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: 17 Filles (2011)

#InspirationalMovie

Well, this is a controversial and complex one. The outline may seem bizarre and basis of an absurd comedy, once you are presented with an introduction that "when Camille accidentally becomes pregnant, 16 of her friends and classmates decide to follow suit, throwing their town and school into chaos...", nevertheless, 17 Filles (2011, Delphine Coulin & Muriel Coulin) brings the conversation on teen pregnancy beyond what you have seen before.

This is not Juno (2007) with it's ups and downs being still framed in complete security and parental support, the pregnancy being a result of boredom. These French girls - and the movie is based on a somewhat true story that happened in Gloucester, Massachusets in 2008 - use sex/pregnancy as one of the ways to gain agency and control over their lives. The fantasy that rises from one unplanned pregnancy leads to a vision of independence and communal life based on shared maternity away from the parental control and not-promising-at-all future of their town.

While, of course, there's a lot of content to challenge - the instrumentalization of sex ignoring the dimension of pleasure, the absence of parents or their male peers sex partners, the reckless driving, smoking and drinking while pregnant, and the outlandish view that a life with a baby would be somehow easier - it comes back to haunt you exactly on how it questions the narrative of teen pregnancy that we are used to.
You watch the girls while they look for things in their lives: to do, to be, to strive towards... in a confusing, rather lonely world where suddenly something so basic and so contrarian to everything they have been warned about as pregnancy (with no sentimental strings attached to the biological fathers) suddenly seems like a good idea that would get them out of the slump of adolescence and make them adults.

Just to keep in mind that teen pregnancies do not come just from not knowing the biological consequences of sex. It is a much more complex conundrum of things that we should be working with... So, enjoy!

BTW, at the moment there is somebody on YouTube that has uploaded the entire movie, so you may take advantage while it lasts...

Sunday is the day when #GirlsDecide: Odeta

#Girlsdecide

We close the #GirlsDecide series with Odeta's* story.

She shares her journey that involves her partner and a decision to not to use a condom... several other decisions will have to be taken afterwards, with the information, support and advice available.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Stories about Anne Boleyn

#inspirationalmovies

Continuing with the princess theme, we are here just to remind you that the much romanticized age of princesses was a very dangerous place to be a woman. And that there is no reason to dream to become a princess/queen. As an example we bring you the life story of Anne Boleyn (c. 1501 – 19 May 1536).

There are many interpretation of her life as the mistress and the 2nd wife of King Henry VIII of England, we shall name just few. In all of them you can see reflected the nauseating relationship between power and lust, manipulation and defeat. It would be too easy to say that this is just about the point when a political need for a male heir and the wish to be the queen (have power!) meets. It is him tearing both England and Europe apart because of the feeling of entitlement. It is her being decapitated (this is not a spoiler, it's general knowledge) for not being able to produce on.
Also, you get to see how religions are made.

Anne of Thousand Days (1969, Charles Jarrot) if you are into movies with patina, and as one from the time when everybody seem to have been comfortable with a tyrannic Richard Burton as the King.

Moving almost 40 years on here comes The Tudors (2007-2010, Michael Hirst) that will bring you lots of hours to watch and lots of characters and relationship dynamics to swallow. Nevertheless, it is quite brilliant and does an excellent job showing the complexity of motivations. With the King in the center and not his wives though... 

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008, Justin Chadwick) is exactly about rivalry inspired in the fact that there is somebody with almost unlimited power to do harm or do good, and conquering their benevolence and trying to maintain it is all you can do. Hard line patriarchy, you know.

Sunday is the day when #GirlsDecide: Halimah

Halimah's* journey takes us to Indonesia and through the difficulties of taking an informed decision about a pregnancy when your culture and your family might not be entirely with you.

And how comprehensive sexuality education could change the entire picture...

Sunday is the day when #GirlsDecide: Valeria

Seems incredible but we still haven't shared here the official #GirlsDecide videos. This is one of six shot movies on girls, sexuality, bodily autonomy and youth friendly services across all IPPF regions.

It's a dramatization of a real story of Valeria* looking for support and a youth friendly specialist.

Girls + pregnancies

In the SRHR community, we spend a lot of time talking about maternal morbidity and mortality, about the need to insure access to health care services and supplies. We insist on need for access, real access to education for girls. We advocate for mandatory Comprehensive Sexuality Education since very early in one's life.

But the curious thought that sums it all up, as presented by Hugo Schwyzer, somehow surprised me

"Sperm kills.* For hundreds of millions of women over the course of millenia, the riskiest action they ever took was having sex (consensual or otherwise, married or not) with men. As medical historians will tell you, until the 20th century, childbirth was the leading cause of death for all women of childbearing years; in some societies that maternal mortality rate may have reached 40%, while other researchers prefer a lower figure of 1 in 5. Given that many women in the developing world still have half a dozen children or more, as they did in previous centuries, the overall risk is compounded by the sheer number of pregnancies carried to term. (1 in 7 Afghan women today die in childbirth.)

To put it even more bluntly, men have killed far more women by ejaculating inside of them than they have by any other method. Semen has killed more people than any other body fluid."

He concludes that, culturally, as a collective unconscious knowledge, it might be one of the reasons to fear the patriarchy-wise channeled male (hetero)sexuality even in places where the feminist fight is not anymore about the legal right to say "no".

A thought-provoking read, anyways.
 

Inspirational movies: Juno (2007)

This movie is about Juno who is a funny, confident girl that "beats to her own drummer" and isn't bothered by what others may think of her. She has sex with a boy, becomes pregnant and goes through the process of weighing her options as to whether she should keep or terminate the pregnancy.

Tagel ♥ Being a Girl

Eszter ♥ Being a Girl

Eszter telling us what is that she ♥ about being a girl.

Girls & Contraception (Decision by H.E.R.A.)

A short on girls and myths and truth about contraception produced by H.E.R.A.

Girls & Contraception (Marius)

"I asked some girlfriends “what’s the first thing that pops to mind when they hear the word contraception?”. To be more exact I asked 57 girls this question.

• 22 said “condom”
• 25 said “sexual protection”
• 7 said “the pill”
• 3 said “no babies”

Those 7 girls that said “the pill”, they’re all in a relationship. They trust their boyfriend so they consider this being the best contraceptive method for their sexual relationship.

From the 22 girls who said “condom”, 13 of them have a boyfriend, but they prefer this method of contraception. When I asked why, 4 of them told me because “taking the pill can get you fat” and they don’t want that. The others said they haven’t discussed the subject with their boyfriend, they just started with the condom and kept on going with it.

Myths exists, and they influence peoples decision. Taking the pill doesn't get you fat. It's true some of them can increase your appetite for food, but that can be controlled.

I asked the girls who said “sexual protection”, what do they mean by this? The majority said protection against STI’s and unwanted babies, but there were 6 that focused only on the unwanted babies, on the STI’s part, they weren’t very concerned. They had the idea that "it won’t happen to me. I don’t know anyone who had/has an STI.”

The thing is that you can't tell if a person has an STI just looking at him/her, and sadly people lie. Ignorance it's not the way.

The 3 girls that said “no babies” are concerned in both ways, unwanted pregnancies and STI’s, but they said no babies, because getting pregnant would complicate their life a lot more. As what contraceptive they use, they all said the condom.

Contraceptive methods are there, and if you're informed enough you can decide which method you want to use, which one is best. They don't necessary take the pleasure away, they can even change the mood sometimes. From different condoms to pills, you can decide which one you want to use, but always take in account the risks that you are putting yourself to if you don't use one."

Marius