Body image, again... (the topic that never gets old in Patriarchy)

Since very young age...

Surrounding us everywhere...

Affecting all of us, all the time... unless we rebel against it!

Although these are Dove ads and a submission for the Dove Fund, the conversation on bodies and how we inhabit them is relevant. Refuse to chip into the "I hate myself so much" bla-bla!

Think about the relationship you have with your body.
Read about it*! Get inspired!  

Organize a Tea Party and talk about it. 

Eat cake and love every bite of it! 

* Some reading matter on bodies (there's a gazillion out there, happy reading!):

• “Mom, I’m Fat:” One Mother’s Inspired Response to Her 7 Year Old
• Fat Grrrl Activism
• EMILY ASKS LESLEY: How Do I Stop Hating My Body? Backsliding Edition
• It Gets Fatter 
• “Dating While Fat And Feminist,” And The Nasty Things You Learn About People After You Lose Weight
• Me, My Boobs, and I
• Lazy Femme
• Beauty Privilege: Can We Talk?

Educating girls is smart, for girls

Education is good for girls. Full stop. Now repeat it again and again. While standing on a chair or any other elevated object, preferably.

Because, as much as we love Girl Effect or any other efforts promoting empowerment of girls and women, at least some of the feminine mystique around investing in girls has to go. Education for girls is good not because they give all their money back to their family afterwards while boys with the same education will not. The very fact that the boys would not support their families equally is profoundly alarming, and a clear sign of structural disadvantage for girls.

So, education for girls for girls' sake we say. 

Girls + pregnancies

In the SRHR community, we spend a lot of time talking about maternal morbidity and mortality, about the need to insure access to health care services and supplies. We insist on need for access, real access to education for girls. We advocate for mandatory Comprehensive Sexuality Education since very early in one's life.

But the curious thought that sums it all up, as presented by Hugo Schwyzer, somehow surprised me

"Sperm kills.* For hundreds of millions of women over the course of millenia, the riskiest action they ever took was having sex (consensual or otherwise, married or not) with men. As medical historians will tell you, until the 20th century, childbirth was the leading cause of death for all women of childbearing years; in some societies that maternal mortality rate may have reached 40%, while other researchers prefer a lower figure of 1 in 5. Given that many women in the developing world still have half a dozen children or more, as they did in previous centuries, the overall risk is compounded by the sheer number of pregnancies carried to term. (1 in 7 Afghan women today die in childbirth.)

To put it even more bluntly, men have killed far more women by ejaculating inside of them than they have by any other method. Semen has killed more people than any other body fluid."

He concludes that, culturally, as a collective unconscious knowledge, it might be one of the reasons to fear the patriarchy-wise channeled male (hetero)sexuality even in places where the feminist fight is not anymore about the legal right to say "no".

A thought-provoking read, anyways.
 

Starting later thanks to books and your Mom,

Books do good things to everybody!

Although early (go, define!) sex is nothing bad, in case you think it has to be avoided, here are your answers. And, no, it is not socio-economic class of the family or race/ethnic origin (we are talking US data here, keep in mind).

Two factors play critical roles in protecting girls-regardless of their socioeconomic status and household structure-against early sexual activity: (1) the quality of their relationship with their mothers and (2) achievement in school, specifically their reading proficiency.

(The research from Girls.inc + the commentary from Feministing.org)

So, education and social networks are the key! We can still look more into some more particular variables and such, but you get the general image.
And knowing that the academic success is also very much household attitudes-bound, more support for education (oh, books! oh, good public education!) and quality family time (oh, parental leaves! oh, work that's compatible with private life!) should be the key for anybody that actually feels like supporting family values (!) and postponing sexual activities.

If that's not your cup of tea, this might be,

 

International Women's Day Campaign: the boys perspective

On the International Women's Day we tried to involve both girls and boys in our campaign. We asked boys: "If you were a girl for one day, you would......?"

Here are some of the answers we got

Aleksandar : I would encourage boys to talk to girls more about girls/women rights!

Saken: I would use girls' charm and potentiall to bring change.

 

Martin: ...I would talk to as many girls I can, because I'd really want to know what are their conversation topics!

Sami: I would talk to guys and see how they treat me.

Mohammed: I would pamper myself, go shopping or to visit beauty saloons.

Sista Queen "Try Being A Lady"

"Try being a lady?
Use me as your trophy so you can parade me...
Use my vagina to only birth babies...
Be your damsel in distress so a brother can save me...
[...]
If my tongue was a trigger, you'd have been shot...
Get real - I'm gonna stay inappropriate until I fucking rot...
I don't talk about love,
I don't talk about sex,
I don't talk about things that'll put your dick on erect"

Sista Queen

"I wasn't expecting much when a 19 year old newcomer from Atlanta with the cliched name of Sista Queen was announced. Well, this performer blew me away, and I hope that anybody who wants to see Def Poetry at its best will find a way to catch her three minutes. She's an intense, loud, fast talker with an endless supply of breath. Her piece is about the self-cheapening of womanhood, and as her performance built to a crescendo she shot back and forth between mocking poses of cute fawning femininity and furious denunciations of the same poses, switching so quickly you were still catching up with the last change as she shot off into the next one. This is the kind of performance I want to see when I turn on this show. I don't know how Sista Queen got so good at such a young age, but I'm pretty sure we'll be hearing more from her." (Levi Asher on July 25, 2005)

girls + toys

toys are for girls or boys playing

• How did we get here? by Princess Free Zone (2011-06-21)
• Lego is for girls by Brad Wieners at Bloomsberg Businessweek (2011-12-14)
• Lego and Dinsey are lazy by Princess Free Zone (2011-12-15)

SRHR: activism and Academia (Daryo)

"Oh wow, had one of my courses on gender today and was wearing the I ♥ being a girl t-shirt, of which a student at the end asked me what was written on it, resulting in me explaining what it meant to me... both YSAFE/SRHR-wise as well as, whilst being consiered 'male', wearing a shirt like that, focusing on the whole gender and biological essentialism thing.

Anyway, point I want to make here: learned that the teacher, who was participating in the dialogue as well, turned out not to know anything about SRHR [sexual and reproductive health and rights] at all! Felt pretty strange to discover that this teacher, whilst she knows a lot about many scientific relations to gender from a lot of different angles, had never heard of these concepts, not even when fully pronouncing the names.

In other words: she knows a lot about gender history, epistemology, discourses (!), biological essentialism, social constructivism, different forms of sexualitites and identities, paradigms and you name it, but seems to be stuck in this 'scientific field'. Conclusion for today: there is more need for SRHR in universities, or it should at least be mentioned!

Not that any of you can do anything with this kind of information, but did seem like a thing to share; after all, it started with the I ♥ being a girl t-shirt."

Daryo

Inspirational movies: Orlando (1992)

Orlando (1992, Sally Potter) is based on a novel by Virginia Woolf.

A tale about a young nobleman who doesn't grow old and who, after a long sleep, wakes up to find out that he has metamorphosed into a woman...

A tale on how gender might and might not be important... and how it's importance has changed since XVI century.

(Mind that Orlando throughout the movie and despite the sex change is played by Tilda Swinton and Queen Elizabeth I - by Quentin Crisp...)

What it feels like for a girl...(Maya)

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

(The Cement Garden)

Waking up in the morning, making a coffee and dressing up is the part of my daily ritual that helps me brighten up, gather my thoughts and think of what the day would bring. Between sleep craving and plans, I rarely think of what everyday life would be without the comfy jeans I am slipping on. Do you?

Women wearing trousers is often considered the greatest fashion revolution in the 20^th century. Despite the fact that women had been wearing trousers long before that due to numerous reasons such as work and weather, it wasn’t till the middle of the century that they actually became a fashionable item. After years of struggle, today a woman wearing trousers or any other men’s accessory such as a tie is rarely considered scandalous in most parts of the world. However, I was surprised to discover it was as late as 2010 that the trouser ban for women was considered for de-legislation, after a number of unsuccessful attempts to overthrow it:Article. And this is happening in Paris- one of the major fashion centers???

The controversies of modern society sometimes show us we are not as liberated and free-minded as we consider ourselves. The quoted text from the book by Ian McEwan and the similarly titled movie also featured in the song What it feels like for a girl by Madonna and made me reflect upon equality and style in the 21^st century. Though trousers are worn by women due to comfort and ease of movement they have also been viewed as a sign of power and equality, especially in the early days. However, as much as we consider ourselves equal, girls can wear “men’s” clothes but how often do you see a man wearing a skirt? (And I can surely say there is nothing better that a good free skirt in a hot summer day!) While trousers are usually described just as a garment skirts are exclusively clothes for girls. And this prompts the question: who does actually have more freedom of choice and expression?

No matter whether coming from struggle for equality, desire for comport or power, changes in fashion brought up a change in the image of women. Thanks to that, girls can experiment and find their style and identity while having fun. So express you self, be casual, formal, sporty or sexy depending on the day and your mood or why not try and mix them up a bit. Show what if feels like for a girl!

Inspirational movies: Precious (2009)

Here, in I ♥ Being a Girl, we always try to look on the bright side of being a girl. Nevertheless, Precious, our first movie suggestion in section Inspirational movies, is not rosy at all.

It's harsh and it will take you to experiences you wish nobody would ever live. Imagine being a illiterate, overweight teen in Harlem, phisically and sexually abused who is pregnant with her second child... and, despite all that, she is trying to get out of the misery.

Quoting the tagline of the movie, "Life is hard. Life is short. Life is painful. Life is rich. Life is... Precious".

This is by no means your popcorn-night romantic comedy, it will touch you deeply, it will hurt and that's the way it's supposed to be.

the Girl Effect, still

girleffect.org

Thomas ♥ Girls

Thomas sharing what is that he admires about girls and women

"Women are never alone while guys are always alone"

Girls & Bodies: Amanda Palmer & The Young Punx "Map of Tasmania"

The lyrics are to be found here.

Dorota T ♥ Being a Girl

"I love being a girl, because it means being myself.

Generally, I do not perceive people as "men and women", instead trying to see individuals. That is why it saddens me to talk to girls who do not feel comfortable or are bullied just because they are not "girly". They prefer baggy clothes and short hair, and playing football. They feel like girls inside, and accept their sex, but they are not accepted by others.

Want to know what I tell them? I'll share my secret with you.

What is truly admirable, is the courage to stay true to yourself. To maintain your individuality. "Being a girl" is not about "looking girly". People - both women and men! - are different, of every possible kind. You all have the full right to be who you feel you want to be - it is your life, not anyone else's. If people only followed those around them, would we have Maria Skłodowska-Curie, who was a brilliant scientist when it was extremely difficult for women to get university education? Would we have Agatha Christie, who wrote mystery books instead of romances and "slice of life" novels? Many women broke the stereotypes of their eras, staying true to themselves - and that is what we all should admire.

"Being a girl" is to be proud of who you are and not be afraid to admit it, whether you wear dresses and make-up or baggy trousers and shirts. It is to have strength to do the things you love doing, and to be beautiful and special in your own, unique way. Always have this pride, and remember - the only person who can limit you in any way is yourself. If you are brave enough to admit who you are in your mind, it means that you are also brave and strong enough to fight for it. Always strive for self-development and improvement. However, never let the world forcibly change you. Instead, you change the world and prove them all wrong!"

Dorota T

+ as a soundtrack suggestion: True Colors by Cyndi Lauper

Empowerment recipes (Maya)

An article about graffiti artists who happen to be girls in the man's, man's, man's world of street art.

Published in Stylist.co.uk magazine.

Girls & Books (Katarína)

"Since my ultimate favorite childhood book Pippi Longstocking is already taken (♥), I will go with this one..

I discovered Promiscuities by Naomi Wolf in my university gender and psychology class. Despite the fact that the book received a lot of negative comments, I liked it a lot, especially the way Naomi puts in the light coming-of-age of young women. All the stories describing what is going on in heads of young girls, how they cope with all the overwhelming and contradictory messages about sexuality, how they discover their bodies, emotions and sexual feelings, fall in love, struggle with the virgin/slut dichotomy, decide when and how they will lose their virginity and many more, combined with cross-cultural views on different theories, made me think about the way girls are depicted and perceived in the society and what do they have to overcome to become strong, empowered, confident women."

Katarína

Empowerment recipes (Katarína)

"What empowers me as a girl:

My independence. My skills. That I can do both „female“ and „male“ work. The ability to take care of myself. And the ability to help my close ones.

My beloved ones. The way they support me. The way they make me feel special. How they lift me up when I´m down. Just having them in my life.

My education. And intelligence. How it makes me curious. That need to look deeper, search for answers. Ability to speak about things that matter.

My body. The way it´s shaped. How it´s unique. Its little imperfections. Softness of the skin. Its abilities. And yes, the multiple orgasms."

Katarína

Empowerment recipes (Maya)

Shania Twain Man! I Feel Like A Woman

"I somehow always thought that this song is perfect for the blog"
Maya

Girls & Education (Tove)

"I was about 9 year old when I started reading English at school. As I guess everyone does when you’re that age, we sang songs for children in English to learn the language better. I especially remember one song that went like this:

Do you like my car?
Yes sir!
Do you like my car?
Yes sir, yes sir!
Do you like my car?
Yes, sir, it’s a beautiful car!

Do you like my dress?
Yes miss!
Do you like my dress?
Yes miss, yes miss!
Do you like my dress?
Yes, miss, it’s a beautiful dress!

Quite silly and pointless song and I didn’t really thought of the lyrics until I got older. What I really love with being a girl in 2010 is that nowadays it’s OK for me to have a car and it’s ok for me to ask: do you like my car?

Though, still it’s not really ok for a boy to have a dress and ask: do you like my dress? But hopefully we get there someday."

Tove, YSAFE Steering Committee member