Sunday is for Horizons: How to do (pop) research on #gender differences properly?

There is one sure way to be able to argue with gender essentialists: knowing the science better than they do. Even if they turn out hard to convince, at least you'll know that the facts are on your side.

Depending on how deeply you want to explore the topic, I'm offering three options: two serious books (written by women scientists, yeah!) and a MythBusters video. Your choice.

Delusions of Gender (2010) by Cordelia Fine will take you through all the common gender difference research. And will show that most of that is rather questionable stuff, mostly reflecting the bias of the researchers instead of actual intrinsic differences among people. Very nice to begin to explore the topic!

Brain Storm (2011) by Rebecca Jordan-Young is a heavier and more serious (as in more scientifically worded and structured) read. And pretty much all of it is dedicated to the ongoing quests looking for female brain as opposed to the male brain. She beautifully traces all the usual tricks used - with special attention to studies of intersex individuals (go, read Middlesex!) - for those trying really hard to find biological/neuroscientific arguments against the idea of complete gender equality.

To give you a taste about what kind of distortions Jordan-Young is dealing with, read this blogpost: “Brain Study Confirms Gender Stereotypes”: How science communication can fuel modern sexism.








And just for a little insight in how you should think about gender differences, trying to disentangle the social and the biological, here you have MythBusters dealing with the throw like a girl thing. Yes, the same one that leads to stuff like the "empowering" Always advertising. 

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Tomboy (2011)

#inspirationalmovies

It may be very difficult for older people to admit, but the life of young - and very young - can be extremely complex. Classical literature is full of examples, but today's one is a recent French cinema gem.

Tomboy (2011, Céline Sciamma) offers a moving story about trying to fit in better in your own body while living in an extremely gendered world.

It will (well, it could, if you'll let it) get you thinking about:
- How little external appearance tells you about people. And how - at the same time - you should respect the signals people are sending. Even if that takes you into an uncharted territory (even beyond gender binary, uh oh).
- How much inner drama and struggle is brought up when you realize that you should make serious adjustments in order to fit in. Especially if you feel that you cannot share that with anybody. Especially if people assume that you are too young to have any coherent idea about what's going on.
- How beyond the "oh, children are so cruel" stands nothing more than the boxed thinking of the adults transmitting certain notions. You cannot expect little children - those people still just ordering basic ideas about human life - to question and bend the old toxic ideas right away. Adults should lead by example.

It's bittersweet, short, and very touching. What else do you need?

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: HIV/AIDS in the big cinema

#inspirational movies 

Putting this under "inspirational" may be somewhat questionable. Movies that have HIV/AIDS as their central theme are not even expected to be inspirational (or uplifting). But in the light of the recent incomer into the genre - Dallas Buyers Club (2013, Jean-Marc Vallée) - a little, very critical round-up seems adequate. And all of those movies touch the activism theme, so they are relevant anyways.

While our all-time favorite still is Rent (2005), these do have some attractive points to it (and downsides too, unfortunately). Curiously enough, there's a decade between the release dates for all three while there are set pretty much around the same time, mid-eighties up to early nineties:

Philadelphia (1993, Jonathan Demme), the ultimate HIV/AIDS classic on the legal battle against discrimination. Has quite some real life inspiration.

Lessons learned: (a) privilege does not protect you from HIV, and (b) homophobia can be cured dealt with if empathy kicks in and if close contact / familiarity is established.

Lacks in the department of: women. Only at the background, and the whole battle for rights is fought among privileged men.

Angels in America (2003, Mike Nichols), the we-are-all-connected esoteric epic on sexuality, coupledome, love, and HIV.

Lessons learned: (a) privilege does not protect you from HIV, and (b) HIV affects also those that are themselves sero-negative but with their lives inter-weaved in those of PLWHA, an obvious truth, but beautifully depicted. Also, (c) you cannot pray away homosexuality. Nor mental health issues.

Lacks in the department of: spirituality. All the angels, prophets, ghosts thing goes from whimsical to annoying to just crazy at times.

Dallas Buyers Club (2013, Jean-Marc Vallée), the quite shitty movie with a pseudo-alternative HIV/AIDS narrative that just got 3 Oscars. Also inspired by an actual person. Caused a major stirring not only because of the overall sexism of the movie but because of Jared Leto - a cis-male - being cast to play a trans person, and about how he does that. 

Lessons learned: (a) heterosexuality (and homophobia) will not protect you from HIV, (b) homophobia is not cured dealt with just by lose contact / familiarity if no empathy can be activated, (c) the big pharma says is not always in your best interest, (d) traditional masculinites are bad for your health.

Lacks in the department of: women. Only at the background, and the whole battle for rights is fought among men. Women are the angry but passive doctor, nurses, and random people that men have sex with.

Other movies that we have talked about before where HIV drives some part of the plot are Kids (1995) and The Hours (2002).

WSYA Power 2 Women: React & Change / Renato

As you should know by now, I ♥ Being a Girl received one of the 2012 World Summit Youth Awards. The award showcases the best ICT solutions made by young people that moves us closer to achieving the MDGs. Ours is - obviously - in the category Power to Women.
As we are far from being the only ones doing things around gender via the internets and such, here you have some more:   

Name: Renato Dornelas, @renato0dornelas
React and Change, @React_n_Change

I enjoy traveling, photographing, and talking.

I am the Head of International Affairs of React & Change. Basically, it is an online-driven, youth-led, non-profit organization committed to activating youth to combat gender inequality and its derivates, such as bullying, unemployment, violence against women, racism and poverty by educating and empowering youth through social entrepreneurship, leadership skills and advocacy.

We hold a diverse of events across the country, gathering young leaders, social entrepreneurs and community activists from all 26 states of Brazil for high-level trainings, free of any costs, in order to share best practices, educate about and learn how to end and approach gender inequality effectively.

I began to work with React & Change because of a desire to take action against domestic violence statutes in Brazil that had forced a member of my family to remain in an abusive relationship for five years because domestic violence is considered a "private" rather than state matter, and thus not grounds for divorce. This personal tragedy empowered me and helped me to discover how I can make an impact on the world.

Our website and social media work as main tools to spread the information from the forums for people who could not attend the event, as well as it works as an interactive platform for young people to share ideas and discuss gender-based issues.

The world would be a better place if everybody would:
- see Oklahoma! (1955, 1999), it's lovely,
- listen Change the Sheets by Kathleen Edwards,
- read Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,
- practice Taekwondo!

I only have short-term plans, but before 80 I'd like to speak at least 6 different languages and have visited all my friends around the world!

Body image, again... (the topic that never gets old in Patriarchy)

Since very young age...

Surrounding us everywhere...

Affecting all of us, all the time... unless we rebel against it!

Although these are Dove ads and a submission for the Dove Fund, the conversation on bodies and how we inhabit them is relevant. Refuse to chip into the "I hate myself so much" bla-bla!

Think about the relationship you have with your body.
Read about it*! Get inspired!  

Organize a Tea Party and talk about it. 

Eat cake and love every bite of it! 

* Some reading matter on bodies (there's a gazillion out there, happy reading!):

• “Mom, I’m Fat:” One Mother’s Inspired Response to Her 7 Year Old
• Fat Grrrl Activism
• EMILY ASKS LESLEY: How Do I Stop Hating My Body? Backsliding Edition
• It Gets Fatter 
• “Dating While Fat And Feminist,” And The Nasty Things You Learn About People After You Lose Weight
• Me, My Boobs, and I
• Lazy Femme
• Beauty Privilege: Can We Talk?

Educating girls is smart, for girls

Education is good for girls. Full stop. Now repeat it again and again. While standing on a chair or any other elevated object, preferably.

Because, as much as we love Girl Effect or any other efforts promoting empowerment of girls and women, at least some of the feminine mystique around investing in girls has to go. Education for girls is good not because they give all their money back to their family afterwards while boys with the same education will not. The very fact that the boys would not support their families equally is profoundly alarming, and a clear sign of structural disadvantage for girls.

So, education for girls for girls' sake we say. 

Girls + pregnancies

In the SRHR community, we spend a lot of time talking about maternal morbidity and mortality, about the need to insure access to health care services and supplies. We insist on need for access, real access to education for girls. We advocate for mandatory Comprehensive Sexuality Education since very early in one's life.

But the curious thought that sums it all up, as presented by Hugo Schwyzer, somehow surprised me

"Sperm kills.* For hundreds of millions of women over the course of millenia, the riskiest action they ever took was having sex (consensual or otherwise, married or not) with men. As medical historians will tell you, until the 20th century, childbirth was the leading cause of death for all women of childbearing years; in some societies that maternal mortality rate may have reached 40%, while other researchers prefer a lower figure of 1 in 5. Given that many women in the developing world still have half a dozen children or more, as they did in previous centuries, the overall risk is compounded by the sheer number of pregnancies carried to term. (1 in 7 Afghan women today die in childbirth.)

To put it even more bluntly, men have killed far more women by ejaculating inside of them than they have by any other method. Semen has killed more people than any other body fluid."

He concludes that, culturally, as a collective unconscious knowledge, it might be one of the reasons to fear the patriarchy-wise channeled male (hetero)sexuality even in places where the feminist fight is not anymore about the legal right to say "no".

A thought-provoking read, anyways.
 

Starting later thanks to books and your Mom,

Books do good things to everybody!

Although early (go, define!) sex is nothing bad, in case you think it has to be avoided, here are your answers. And, no, it is not socio-economic class of the family or race/ethnic origin (we are talking US data here, keep in mind).

Two factors play critical roles in protecting girls-regardless of their socioeconomic status and household structure-against early sexual activity: (1) the quality of their relationship with their mothers and (2) achievement in school, specifically their reading proficiency.

(The research from Girls.inc + the commentary from Feministing.org)

So, education and social networks are the key! We can still look more into some more particular variables and such, but you get the general image.
And knowing that the academic success is also very much household attitudes-bound, more support for education (oh, books! oh, good public education!) and quality family time (oh, parental leaves! oh, work that's compatible with private life!) should be the key for anybody that actually feels like supporting family values (!) and postponing sexual activities.

If that's not your cup of tea, this might be,

 

International Women's Day Campaign: the boys perspective

On the International Women's Day we tried to involve both girls and boys in our campaign. We asked boys: "If you were a girl for one day, you would......?"

Here are some of the answers we got

Aleksandar : I would encourage boys to talk to girls more about girls/women rights!

Saken: I would use girls' charm and potentiall to bring change.

 

Martin: ...I would talk to as many girls I can, because I'd really want to know what are their conversation topics!

Sami: I would talk to guys and see how they treat me.

Mohammed: I would pamper myself, go shopping or to visit beauty saloons.

Tea Party Stories

In September the Bulgarian MA had their first tea party. Here are our impressions:

Tea Party Bulgaria on Prezi

The time of the month

Menstruation, a taboo or blessing? A story told by women, their parners and communities from all over the world. 

More stories on society, gender, growing up, love, culture, steriotypes and many more on Metropolis website

I ♥ Being a Girl Tea party !!!

Dear friends,

Because we had such a blast at our own I♥BG tea party at the Regional Council, we would like to invite you to organize your own. So here it is, our official invitation:

We, YSAFE, would like to invite you to participate in the “I ♥ being a girl” and to encourage you to organize your own IHBG Tea parties where you could spark positive discussion around a gender transformative approach, girl empowerment, as well as a broad range of SRHR related discussion topics to help lead the discussions, including discussion on sex and pregnancy.

Before the Tea party, please see the „I ♥ Being a Girl movie", our Youtube fanpage, and explore the blog. We are sure it will give you some good ideas or raise a good discussion.

If you want to organise your own event, please contact me, Renata, at this email address renata.daunoraviciute@gmail.com . I will send you everything you need to know about organising your own tea-party and I can answer any questions you may have.

We would be grateful if you could let us know who will be contact person for your I ♥ Being a Girl Tea party, and when are you planning to make it. Special surprises are waiting for those who decides to support the project and get involved.

Hope to hear from you very soon!

Renata

What it feels like for a girl...(Maya)

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

(The Cement Garden)

Waking up in the morning, making a coffee and dressing up is the part of my daily ritual that helps me brighten up, gather my thoughts and think of what the day would bring. Between sleep craving and plans, I rarely think of what everyday life would be without the comfy jeans I am slipping on. Do you?

Women wearing trousers is often considered the greatest fashion revolution in the 20^th century. Despite the fact that women had been wearing trousers long before that due to numerous reasons such as work and weather, it wasn’t till the middle of the century that they actually became a fashionable item. After years of struggle, today a woman wearing trousers or any other men’s accessory such as a tie is rarely considered scandalous in most parts of the world. However, I was surprised to discover it was as late as 2010 that the trouser ban for women was considered for de-legislation, after a number of unsuccessful attempts to overthrow it:Article. And this is happening in Paris- one of the major fashion centers???

The controversies of modern society sometimes show us we are not as liberated and free-minded as we consider ourselves. The quoted text from the book by Ian McEwan and the similarly titled movie also featured in the song What it feels like for a girl by Madonna and made me reflect upon equality and style in the 21^st century. Though trousers are worn by women due to comfort and ease of movement they have also been viewed as a sign of power and equality, especially in the early days. However, as much as we consider ourselves equal, girls can wear “men’s” clothes but how often do you see a man wearing a skirt? (And I can surely say there is nothing better that a good free skirt in a hot summer day!) While trousers are usually described just as a garment skirts are exclusively clothes for girls. And this prompts the question: who does actually have more freedom of choice and expression?

No matter whether coming from struggle for equality, desire for comport or power, changes in fashion brought up a change in the image of women. Thanks to that, girls can experiment and find their style and identity while having fun. So express you self, be casual, formal, sporty or sexy depending on the day and your mood or why not try and mix them up a bit. Show what if feels like for a girl!

Inspirational movies: Precious (2009)

Here, in I ♥ Being a Girl, we always try to look on the bright side of being a girl. Nevertheless, Precious, our first movie suggestion in section Inspirational movies, is not rosy at all.

It's harsh and it will take you to experiences you wish nobody would ever live. Imagine being a illiterate, overweight teen in Harlem, phisically and sexually abused who is pregnant with her second child... and, despite all that, she is trying to get out of the misery.

Quoting the tagline of the movie, "Life is hard. Life is short. Life is painful. Life is rich. Life is... Precious".

This is by no means your popcorn-night romantic comedy, it will touch you deeply, it will hurt and that's the way it's supposed to be.

Girls & Fashion (Luīze)

"I’ve made a decision.

I’m getting rid of my heels*.

Not that I wouldn’t like them or wouldn’t want to wear them anymore.
Actually, I’ve never been wearing them for real. I am just not able to move the way I am used to, move as fast as I’m used to.

Nevertheless, both too long and too short dresses stay, as well as all the pompous headbands, flowers and heavy earrings.

Here’s the trick - think it works the same way for boys and for girls just that girls tend to need reminders on this – if something you add to your body makes you feel better, great; if it restricts you, it has to go!"

Luīze

* Read: giving them away to a second hand / vintage shop in Riga.

the Girl Effect, still

girleffect.org

Thomas ♥ Girls

Thomas sharing what is that he admires about girls and women

"Women are never alone while guys are always alone"

♥ settling down?

Kimbra - Settle Down from Forum5 Recordings on Vimeo

Girls & Bodies: Amanda Palmer & The Young Punx "Map of Tasmania"

The lyrics are to be found here.

Dorota T ♥ Being a Girl

"I love being a girl, because it means being myself.

Generally, I do not perceive people as "men and women", instead trying to see individuals. That is why it saddens me to talk to girls who do not feel comfortable or are bullied just because they are not "girly". They prefer baggy clothes and short hair, and playing football. They feel like girls inside, and accept their sex, but they are not accepted by others.

Want to know what I tell them? I'll share my secret with you.

What is truly admirable, is the courage to stay true to yourself. To maintain your individuality. "Being a girl" is not about "looking girly". People - both women and men! - are different, of every possible kind. You all have the full right to be who you feel you want to be - it is your life, not anyone else's. If people only followed those around them, would we have Maria Skłodowska-Curie, who was a brilliant scientist when it was extremely difficult for women to get university education? Would we have Agatha Christie, who wrote mystery books instead of romances and "slice of life" novels? Many women broke the stereotypes of their eras, staying true to themselves - and that is what we all should admire.

"Being a girl" is to be proud of who you are and not be afraid to admit it, whether you wear dresses and make-up or baggy trousers and shirts. It is to have strength to do the things you love doing, and to be beautiful and special in your own, unique way. Always have this pride, and remember - the only person who can limit you in any way is yourself. If you are brave enough to admit who you are in your mind, it means that you are also brave and strong enough to fight for it. Always strive for self-development and improvement. However, never let the world forcibly change you. Instead, you change the world and prove them all wrong!"

Dorota T

+ as a soundtrack suggestion: True Colors by Cyndi Lauper